The Week in Review

In pictures. Happy Aloha Friday!

Malabar Chestnut, devoured. Tasty little buggers. Cashew-like, but crisper.

Almond milk, banana, fig, and macadamia nut smoothie. Before-water aerobics fortification.

Sandy girl...

Dawn from the lanai.  Best time of the day in East Hawaii.

And a few more orchid shots. Worked at the greenhouse a bit yesterday.

Aloha Friday

Big yawn from Kea... Such a tough life she leads.  Looking forward to the weekend, since the man has been working 10-hour days, Monday through Friday with some regularity.  My hero.

I have been up to my usual routine, planting, picking, and weeding around here.  A friend gave us 6 mountain apple starts, need to get them in the ground.  I've been going to the local pool twice a week for a water exercise class.  Mostly women my age and older, and a mere 10 minutes from home.  

Was relieved to learn that our Senator, Brian Schatz will vote against attacking Syria.  And gay marriage is extremely close to being a reality here in Hawaii.  About time!  Also, Ariana Huffington was in Hilo this week, hyping Huffpo Hawaii.  I've strayed from Huffpo somewhat, but will definitely stay tuned.  Plus, they're seeking Big Island bloggers to contribute.  (Intrigue!)

The air has been feeling cooler in the early mornings and evenings... Plenty warm the rest of the time, though!  Soon it will be tangerine and starfruit season again.

The Week In Review

Sunday Snooze

Video Visit

Windy Evening Walkabout
That links to my first-ever you tube video...
Three minutes and twenty seconds of our little slice of paradise.

Aloha!

The Dream

Around the time I learned what the word divorce meant, (I was seven.) I had a dream that remains vivid to this day.

I am in the city of my birth, San Francisco. In what seems to be my neighborhood of Lombard and Leavenworth streets not far from the Art Institute.

I am alone, wandering. I come upon a long stairway that goes downward. Hundreds of concrete stairs. It takes quite a while to reach the bottom. When I do, it's a dead end, with only enough room to turn around and climb up again.

I notice a kitten there, crying in the damp confines, and pick it up. I remember that I had been asking my parents for a cat, but they didn't want one. I decide to take the poor thing home with me and ask them again.

It takes a very long time to reach the street level, and I am feeling nervous about my dad's reaction. Finally, I reach the door to our flat, ring the bell, and someone buzzes me in.

I climb the additional stairs to our place and see my dad waiting for me at the top.
He is smiling. He has a razor blade and a box of band aids in his hands. When I reach him, he says nothing. Just quietly begins to make small cuts in my skin, all over my arms. He then methodically begins covering up the cuts with band aids. Never angry, just smiling gently. Silent.

That's where it ends. I never told my dad about this dream, but I have never forgotten it. My parents were divorced a few months later.

Living and Dying in 3/4 Time

Some thoughts on Sunday:

How the hell did we end up with 5 cats?
Glad we live in Hawaii and have a large lanai, so they can live outside. Spoiled beasts!

Really, really looking forward to my older daughter's arrival in the near future. She's coming for a whole month... Alone!
Poor thing has been through hell--cleverly disguised as love. Bad love is a rite of passage and she will be stronger and wiser because of the wretched experience.
However, very painful to watch.

My new employer and I are a great match.
Not one to believe in fate or cosmic occurrences, but it's a pretty cool thing.
Her husband and son are pleased as well, but the connection with her is so refreshing in the working world! We understand each other, and there is no typical bullshit that seems to be part of working with or for women. Women can be truly brutal. It took some time for that to sink in. I was raised by a divorced and fairly bitter mother, so men were demonized to a certain degree. That made me someone who had issues trusting men for much of my adult life. Better now, thanks to my current relationship of almost 14 years! A record for us both. Over the last few years, my trust in women has been somewhat diminished. Especially groups of women. Ouch. So now, when I meet women with kind and open hearts and no agenda, I am thankful. This job reminds me of my work as a postpartum care provider. That was almost 20 years ago, and the children were newborns, not teens. But the concept is the same: helping the family function smoothly by providing practical and emotional support. It can be absolutely exhausting, like most jobs. But it is exhilarating and meaningful, providing service to those in need. Much gratitude.

Next weekend, we will host visitors we've never met. They're a young couple from Santa Cruz. Both attend the university, and one works with a longtime dear friend there. My friend asked if they could visit us for a night or two. The young woman just got off a boat that arrived from Moorea. Part of her course of study! They are WWOOFers, which means they will work on farms in trade for food and lodging. We look forward to meeting them, and have some projects in mind. Never a shortage, with almost 4 acres of land. I've included a link about WWOOFers below...

Lots more crazy gun-related mayhem since I last ranted about it. Beginning to wonder if that is the new normal? Michael Moore made "Bowling for Columbine" in 1999. And what has changed, beyond many more rampages? But wait, we can't be bothered with him, because he is FAT, right? At least our priorities are in order.

"People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin

http://www.wwoofusa.org/

Catch Your Dreams

...Before they slip away. (Name that tune?)

Here's a photo of my beautiful dream catcher, which was made by friend and fellow blogger, Joe. His blog is Round Circle, and I was privileged to meet Joe and his family when they passed through Mendocino.

The dream catcher was damaged by our then-kitten a while ago-she thrashed one of the eagle feathers. I recently sent it back to Joe for repair. It came back looking better than ever.

I wasted no time hanging it in our bedroom window. Peace and love to you and yours, Joe.

Cat Farming

My "Baby"

The only thing that's tough about living here in paradise is missing my "kids."
They're all in Northern California and are good at being independent. Which is what any parent hopes for, naturally.

So much of what we are striving to achieve here will hopefully be theirs to continue in the future. And though none of them are ready to abandon life on the mainland yet, they know that this place is here for them when they want to participate. It's our legacy, and will be theirs, too.

My youngest child sent me this photo today. It was taken in 2007, when she was still in high school. That kitten is our now-six year old cat, Tatiana. The one that came with us when we left Mendocino.

This child of mine has come a LONG way since her very turbulent and often painful adolescence. (Some of it chronicled on this blog.) So has our relationship, which was quite strained for a stretch. Because everything changes, always.

Life is Good

Happy New Year! Not a lot of blogging going on, but lots of living. That is Kea the cat. She adopted us last August. Three days later, a tiny black kitten followed suit. We call her Pele.
After almost nine months in our new island home, we cannot imagine living anywhere else.
Aloha!

What's New?

That's our now two-year-old kitty, checking you out. Taken by a visiting relative last month. Not much blogging happening these days. Could be a trend, could be a phase. The garden has been a wonderful thing. Too bad my camera isn't functional. I miss taking snapshots.

I joined something called boot camp. No, not the military. Don't really like the name, although it is appropriate. We meet three mornings a week on the beach. Serious work outs, in sand. Before work. Finishing my second month of this.

It's nearly autumn. I look forward to that, after another season of Winnebago's and their mostly clueless inhabitants. Youngest child got her first job this summer, and is handling it quite well. I still have a job, as does my man. We know how lucky we are.

Backed out of Burning Man. It's got to be right, and it wasn't. Maybe next year. Other than that, just fighting the dreaded Facebook time suck.

Whats New Pussycat? - Bob Marley & the Wailers

Wordless Wednesday

Gray cat on linoleum

Love Is The Drug

Love Is The Drug (1999 Digital Remaster) - Roxy Music

Whew

Here's Tatiana resting on her perch. She picked it out immediately, back in May. She's tuckered out and we are too. Older daughter was here for about a week. I took the week off to hang out with both daughters. I didn't do much domestically, but I sure enjoyed the days. We even had some people over on Saturday evening, for drinks and appetizers. The new place is nice for such things.

I realized the other day that when my mother was the age I am now, she was a year or so away from dying. She would now be seventy-nine, had she not slipped away far too soon. This realization has messed with my mind in various ways. I feel an odd sense of guilt, since I don't have cancer. Also, a powerful feeling of gratitude, for being alive and here and healthy. And afraid to my core that I'll be suddenly stricken without warning and taken from all I cherish. Such is life when your mother dies at fifty-two. Weird.

I looked out my bedroom window a few days ago and watched nineteen geese fly and land in perfect formation. Crazy beautiful.

trippin'

tatiana, enjoying her sunday

we're home. we went to sacramento, where we spent some time at a hospital. a hospital built by sparkly, fez-wearing gents. her spinal curvature was deemed minuscule, but we'll return in half-a-year. she is quite glad to have the good news. i think she worried about resembling a nautilus.


we saw an old friend on our way out of river city. she fixed a lovely brunch, which we three noshed upon whilst catching up on a decade or so. she's a keeper. thanks, carla and honey. x0x


a productive weekend away, with some very nice mom-kid time. we luxuriated at a hotel near the hospital, and had chinese food delivered. (her choice)

Cool Yule

Our little tree is on the front porch. It presents too much temptation for our curious kitten this year. She loves to shred! We are off to the big city for the day and night. I wish all of my blog readers peaceful, lovely times. "Thanks for noticing me" (A favorite Eeyore quote)

In Your Face

She wanted AT the camera.

Feverish Thoughts

My first sick day. Since February, when I lucked into my new, much-improved job.What an odd thing, when teeth chatter uncontrollably and the fever burns. I burrowed into my comforter and thrashed about a while. We noticed that V for Vendetta was just starting, so we watched it. Despite feeling poorly, it floored me.Two Sissy Hankshaw-sized thumbs-up. Feeling less weird today, but not 100% healed. Maybe a minimal rant will help.





So much to say about so much. It takes me over sometimes. Every day I feel more disillusioned. If only... I were the type that could look away, ignore the insanity, and distract myself in a myriad of ways. I've never been one to deny the obvious, no matter how upsetting it may be. It's obvious (to me) that we are approaching the point of no return. I will not just shut up and watch it occur. I keep up this incessant blogging for my mental health. This is for me. Plain and simple. It's not because I think I am another undiscovered writer. No chance. It is a place for my burgeoning frustration. Sometimes it's for the things in my little world that soothe my soul or make me laugh. Either way it feels sort of obsessive. That troubles me. (Add it to the motherfucking list!) I hope there comes a time I won't need this silly thing for venting about my fucked-up country. That may be overly-optimistic.





My son and his cohorts are driving to Los Angeles (What???!!) this weekend, to see Roky Erickson at the El Rey Theater. As he pointed out: "The City itself is not on fire, Mom." He has friends there, keeping him posted. They're staying at one of his pal's mother's place.In Malibu. The tickets were procured weeks ago. Even though he's 25, I have the maternal urge to suggest that they wear those white masks over their mouths whenever they're outdoors. The particulate down there should be quite something. If I do suggest this, he will laugh at me. No matter, I probably will.






One of my very best friends is treating me to a getaway to see her soon. Gracious! There are now direct flights from Santa Rosa to Seattle. This is less stressful than getting to San Francisco or Oakland. She's a friend from my formative years at Tahoe. One of only a few that have remained friends for about three decades. As I pointed out to Tara Dharma recently, my circle of friends gets smaller as the years roll on. The trade off is... the remaining friendships that I hold dear and rely on are strong. Many others have been lost along the way. Some are mourned, some are forgotten. It's complicated stuff, friendship. Like life is.






I've been wondering about labels. There are labels for everything and everyone. For instance, I could easily be labeled a deadhead. I am one. Or was, depending on your outlook. But is that all I am? Perhaps, to some. No matter, really. I can handle the label. But wait, there's more to me than that, musically. I have seen and/or worked at almost every genre of music you can fathom. From Lollapalooza to the San Francisco Symphony. Due to my years as a blue coat for B.G.P., I saw shows I would not necessarily have seen by choice. Like Tiffany or Duran Duran or Run D.M.C. It's music, and it intrigues me-whether I am particularly fond of it or not. I'm weird like that.



Lastly, I think our kitten has a name that will stick. Dusty became Cassidy. It fits her the best. Finally. I felt negligent, being uncertain. Not Cassidy like the song, or after Neal Cassady. She hops. Naturally I thought of Hopalong Cassidy. Another archaic reference.Consider it's source! Anyway, Cassie works too.

Dusty's World

We didn't want another cat. Not yet. Losing Sunny last February was the final heartbreak. Before that, Luna kitty vanished ( May 2006) We adopted the two of them from the Humane Society in late 2004. This was soon after our four-year-old cat, Sparky had to be put to sleep. He had some internal injuries that occurred when he fell out of a Ponderosa pine tree at the tender age of four months. We are talking about some seriously rotten luck with kitties. So, we've been cat-less. It seemed like the right thing, after so much sorrow and loss.


I was at my daughter's high school a few weeks ago, dropping something off. I noticed one of the students at a picnic table, playing with a tiny grey kitten. The student that owned her was trying to find a new home for kitty, because her parents did not want to keep her. They had two older kitties, and didn't want to upset them with a young upstart.



The poor creature was being passed around, staying here-and-there, with no real home. I couldn't help but ooooh and ahhhh at the sight of her, and commented on her cuteness. The student replied: " Oh, well I think she's YOURS... aren't you Q's mom? " Later that day, young daughter called me. I waited for her sales pitch, smiling to myself. She was unaware that I had come home to the man and gone on and on about the sweet kitten I'd met. We decided then that we'd let her come home and live with us. She's the nicest thing that's happened to all of us in quite some time. A hellion sometimes, but so incredibly sweet and smart. She makes us happy.



So cherished is she that I can't even imagine ever letting her go outside. Which is a real switch for me-all of our cats have been inside-outside cats. I mean, they're animals. Due to our ill-fated recent history with cats, I find myself newly aware of the danger that awaits her, lurking out there in the redwoods and on our road. Mountain lions are out there. So are several naughty, non-confined dogs. Then there are the cars. And logging trucks. And giant trees to get stuck in. What about cat-hating sadists? What if they were to poison her? These are the neurotic, paranoid thoughts that spin around my brain.

It's a big, bad world out there, for kitties too.