Here's Tatiana resting on her perch. She picked it out immediately, back in May. She's tuckered out and we are too. Older daughter was here for about a week. I took the week off to hang out with both daughters. I didn't do much domestically, but I sure enjoyed the days. We even had some people over on Saturday evening, for drinks and appetizers. The new place is nice for such things.I realized the other day that when my mother was the age I am now, she was a year or so away from dying. She would now be seventy-nine, had she not slipped away far too soon. This realization has messed with my mind in various ways. I feel an odd sense of guilt, since I don't have cancer. Also, a powerful feeling of gratitude, for being alive and here and healthy. And afraid to my core that I'll be suddenly stricken without warning and taken from all I cherish. Such is life when your mother dies at fifty-two. Weird.
I looked out my bedroom window a few days ago and watched nineteen geese fly and land in perfect formation. Crazy beautiful.
9 comments:
our house is good for that too :) we had an impromptu gathering for fireworks- since you can see them from our driveway- with beer and good chatting. life has a way of messing with your mind and really, it's ok to feel what you feel as long as you don't dwell. processing through and remembering that life isn't a permanent thing no matter who you are- helps keep peace within. namaste. :)
It's good you had time to spend with your daughters. Those are the best of times. They're going to look back and remember these days many years from now, just the way you do.
When people are taken so soon, it really makes me appreciate everything that much more.
My mom's 81 and she's starting to fail big time.
every woman friend that i have freaks when they live past the age when their own mother died...it's a very natural thing...
live while your alive, i always say...
i'm happy that you are surrounding yourself with family and friends in that beautiful home on that beautiful nocal coast...keep it up =)
~ n
xoxoxo
ps...just noticed the star of light over tatiana's head...when that shows up in pics it's supposed to be something mystical/magical/whatever...a special kitty, indeed...
~ n
xoxox
pss...amazing that you chose george over bill, no?...
It's so important to appreciate the time we have with those we love, and it's sad that sometimes we aren't able to fully appreciate it until it's too late.
annie,
I know the death of loved ones makes life seem more tenuous at times. I think the only antidote for that is to love the people you are with.
Beautiful kitty, looks like the one I just lost. :(
what a mix of sadness and joy. I'll bet your mind feels messed with. I am the age that N.s mom was when she died - and that's unsettling enough.
Gratitude and deep joy are a lovely thing.
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