In keeping with the topic of former hippies-turned-right wing-kooks...
Yesterday morning, we drove north about 17 miles to procure propane and groceries.
We always get our propane at the same little place, and are friends with the woman who manages the business. They sell lots of solar power necessities too. There is even a little kiosk onthe property where ONO smoked ahi is sold. The man has lately been selling small bags of this tasty treat at the farmers market. He doesn't make much on it, but it is a great locally made product.
Anyway, the dude that owns this little fish company isn't a friend, but we've seen him at a couple of get togethers and he seems like an alright person. Low key, older, has fished all of his life. I think he may be a former Californian. We picked up more of his fish for the market and chatted with fish man briefly. He almost immediately began ranting about Washington scandals and all of Obama's "Chicago friends." He even brought up Waco. We stifled, but that batshit crazy right wing talk radio message came through loud and clear.
The ride home was one of quiet disgust.
It's truly so sad, watching some of our peers let fear take over their thought process. Echoing the crazies on Fox News. No original thoughts or ideas, tossing out those adorable code words. Truly cringe worthy. We still like the fish.
(Photo of my hand-painted wine goblet, given to me by the youngest child about 13 years ago. The letters on it's base say "Queen Annie, Love Quinn and inside, she painted "Peek-A-Boo" at the bottom of the goblet's bowl.)
How very strange, that while congress argues about gun control, people and their guns are all over the news--shooting doctors, lawyers, and even school bus drivers. Gabrielle Giffords, now partially blind and unable to speak as she once did, managed to plead with her constituents in a powerful and dignified manner, even though she was shot in the head two years ago. The gun freaks are freaking out at the prospect of any form of repairing this flawed system. Meanwhile, Hawaii is making plans to tighten-up their already strict gun laws.
"Truth and nonviolence are the two wings of an aspirant who
takes off in search of liberation."
Babaji
There are times, scant readers-of-mine, when the madness takes hold. I am currently riding that wave. I seem fully functional. Inside my head is something else altogether. The world's never-ending woes are taking their toll. The only answers appear to be medication or distraction, or both. I know that works for many. That's great. Neither is an option. I can't help but pay attention-it's what I do. The price for this fatal flaw is high. Yesterday I came home from work and wailed. So much to shed tears over. Mother Earth's demise, soul-less leaders in charge of our destinies, an election that seems like a total joke. (already) So many kids learning all the WRONG things, alleged adults making babies they could care less about, babies who grow up-only to die in a war that benefits... whom? More homelessness and poverty every day, Guns and more guns... and so on. The clincher? People are fed-up, and getting angrier all the time. But where is the absolute outrage? Especially in the younger generations-it's spooky. I was already angry, at 14!(Are you surprised?) I worked for the Student Mobilization Committee, a branch of the National Peace Action Coalition/N.P.A.C. My junior high school pal (We are still friends!) and I would ride the cable car, then the streetcar downtown and work in the offices at Oak St. and Van Ness Ave. We made calls, typed mailing labels, and handed out flyers downtown. We helped to organize several anti-war protests in San Francisco. "Back in the Day"(1971-72) I still recall the passion I felt. It was instinctive, to take action and work hard to end the war. Because the future was ours, and we knew it. Do our kids know? They need to. As for the older generations, why are we so complacent? What the hell has happened to us? Different priorities, I guess. And apathy. And shopping. Revolutionary thoughts are so time-consuming!
Then there are my personal traumas. I try and avoid most of that here. It's just not comfy, sharing my darkest inner dialogs with anyone but a shrink! But that's just me. How's this for timing... my youngest (15) is at the height of adolescent maternal disdain. Meanwhile, I'm discovering peri-menopause. (It sounds so perky.) We make quite the pair. My poor man. He handles it marvelously, by either laying low or diplomatically stepping-in to calm us down! He's good like that. Oh, how I miss my own mom, these days. It's coming up on thirty years since her death, but memories of our own rocky years together have been showing up to haunt me. Funny how raising kids does that. Reminds us of who we were, and how we may well have hurt our parentals. Not because we wanted to, just because. I keep reminding myself that things shift, and you do get close again. I have watched it occur twice, with my grown children. Thankfully.
But this one... she's a live wire. She knows how to cut me-deep. I am reminded of her father, when she does this. She is the (only) child of my second (and final!) husband, and he was a mean bastard. No polite way to put it. He was gone by the time the child was 6 years old, and she barely sees him every few months. And yet, those (persistent) genes come through. So much for nature versus nurture. She has his musical prowess-a gift. But that's the only positive contribution from him I've seen. She also has (size 10) flat feet, scoliosis, and an explosive temper. Throw in some teenage acne and being the tallest (almost 6 feet tall) girl, and she has every right to be pissed-off! The ex has lived in his mother's home for almost 10 years now. Need I say more? So, not a great role model for the poor girl. She knows, and it hurts. Yeah, I picked a winner alright. The difference between my dear mother and me is that I won't give up. I will stick by my girl always, and love her through her dark days. That's how I do it.
So, between the weight of the world and chickens coming home to roost, I am in a bit of a funk today. Just me and some Bootsy. We'll get through it.
Happy Fucking New Year, Kids. It's bound to be better. Unless it gets worse. Anyway, Much Love to All.
I think this was the New Year's Eve Show that we saw Larry Bird and Kevin McHale backstage with Bill Walton. (C.B.? Was it the 1987 show?) Of course it was. That year marked the end of my marriage and the beginning of an excruciatingly harsh lesson I had yet to grasp. I learned it alright. Major collateral damage came with it. Damage that will not be denied it's right to stick around. A pricey lesson.
New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday. The whole out with the old, in with the new ritual just works for me. A yearly purge. Even if N.Y.E. Shows ceased long ago. We've adapted and grown (somewhat) accustomed to hanging around the shack, celebrating in a more subdued manner. Settled? Check. Boring? Check again. Well on our way to old. Our New Year's Eve supper: Black-Eyed Pea and Spinach Salad & Curried Red Snapper. Later on, we'll sip Lambic and bid good riddance to a fairly shitty year. Cheers!
Have you read this Dick Cavett column? He writes about John Winston Lennon, who would be Sixty-Seven today. Why do I remember his birthday every year? That's just weird. Oh, that's right. He rescued me from a life of depressing banality
I was reminded of John recently because we saw some of "Give Peace A Song" on PBS. Before then, I had no idea that Tommy Smothers participated in the recording of Give Peace A Chance.
It all feels quite distant now. That belief that we had the power to change things. We did, to some degree. Now it's as though nobody has the will to fight for their (remaining) rights. Too busy accumulating and amassing. Besides, if it doesn't impact their day-to-day life directly, why should they care?
Another song that has been in a semi-continuous loop in my head. It all began with the final scene of the final Sopranos episode. I was nuts about Little Feat during the Lowell George era. The clip below is now thirty years old. (Shit.) I was twenty. (Sigh.) Odd days continue. Everyone around me seems increasingly world-weary, even the ones that are good at the denial stuff. And "experts" wonder why drug and alcohol use has increased steadily? Please.
Some recent, random observations:
Everyone is suddenly a pirate. Why? Pop culture cracks me up.
Spectators at drag racing exhibitions should always sit in the nosebleed seats.
Dogs get better treatment than far too many human beings.Here's proof. Pedal pushers are clearly out of control in this society. Do women wear pants anymore?
"All That You Dream" Little Feat Rockpalast Germany 1977
the preamble to the declaration of independence (july 4th, 1776) declares the right of revolution and the right to self determination.
"that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying it's foundation on such principles and organizing it's powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and happiness"
today is a hard day for me... waving little flags and watching fireworks will not make me feel good about this country right now. i so want to be proud again. i was once. it is not popular to have these views of mine, in blog space or real-time. but i couldn't care less. if people would take the time to read the constitution, they would find that we, as citizens have every right to speak out.
i feel independent of the masses today. i will not attend our parade in town. there are plenty of alternate views in that parade, but still, i just can't do it. i ache for this land of my birth. i cannot pretend that everything is wonderful, and no amount of red white and blue will change the way i feel. impeaching that liar will.
"don't lend your hand to raise no flag atop no ship of fools" ... (the rest of the lyrics are in the above link, like always.)
on this date in 1937, amelia earhart vanished from the sky. when we discussed that fact today, i was reminded that her navigator was a man. (maybe he wouldn't ask for directions?) i love joni's song, "amelia", and it has been in my head all day, appropriately. as usual, the lyrics are there to read if you so desire.
the days and nights are full of familial fun. my son is a joy to spend time with again. i admit to unabashed pride where he is concerned. to see a child from birth to adulthood is one of life's most generous gifts.
my podcast interview was posted yesterday... http://www.closetdeadhead.com is the web address, and then just click on the "listen" button for podcast # 35. (my 15 minutes of *streaming* fame?)
other thoughts-a-swirling in my head today... the future of the supreme court, karl rove/valerie plame, salmon filets and broiled portabella mushrooms. and better days.
