Hold On

Via BoingBoing from Yoko

Mother

November 20th is one heavy day to hold. And yet, I hold on. My mother died on this date twenty-seven years ago. She has now been dead longer than she was my very own living, breathing mother. She missed everything important in my life. Like her three grandkids. Never held a-one. The closest she got to it was the knowledge that I was pregnant with my son. She was excited about that, but missed his birth by about five months.

I know she didn't want to leave me. But she did and it feels like I was robbed of something vital to my existence. That becomes more obvious to me all the time. It changed me, and not necessarily for the better. I have done lots of work around this monumental loss. Therapy? Check.

Now I am a mother of two children in their twenties. Like I was when she died.The thought of leaving this life-and my kids-fills me with a fear that is beyond any nightmare you can imagine. Is that how she felt leaving me? I will never know because she never said so. Not her style to share such emotional things. That never posed a problem for yours truly. I share too much. A fatal flaw. One that I pay for on a daily basis. I want her here today, and needed to share that with the big and sometimes wicked universe.

Oh, and this song.

A Crowd of People Stood and Stared

Here's a fresh You Tube of Neil Young performing at Farm Aid last weekend.

I think Neil's treatment of 'A Day In The Life' would make John Lennon smile. Keep an eye and an ear out when the song gets to about 4:38.

Dig that melodic rage!

Dear John Letter

photo: Aiko Jim


Imagine Peace

Below is a letter to John Lennon, from Yoko Ono. The link above will take you to it's source. I respectfully request that you refrain from any oh-so typical Yoko-bashing. Not today. Because twenty-seven years ago today, everyone lost John.

December 8, 2007

I miss you, John. 27 years later, I still wish I could turn back the clock to the Summer of 1980. I remember everything - sharing our morning coffee, walking in the park together on a beautiful day, and seeing your hand stretched to mine - holding it, reassuring me that I shouldn't worry about anything because our life was good.

I had no idea that life was about to teach me the toughest lesson of all. I learned the intense pain of losing a loved one suddenly, without warning, and without having the time for a final hug and the chance to say, "I love you," for the last time. The pain and shock of that sudden loss is with me every moment of every day. When I touched John's side of our bed on the night of December 8th, 1980, I realized that it was still warm. That moment has haunted me for the past 27 years - and will stay with me forever.

Even harder for me is watching what was taken away from our beautiful boy, Sean.
He lives in silent anger over not having his Dad, whom he loved so much, around to share his life with. I know we are not alone. Our pain is one shared by many other families who are suffering as the victims of senseless violence. This pain has to stop.

Let's not waste the lives of those we have lost. Let's, together, make the world a place of love and joy and not a place of fear and anger. This day of John's passing has become more and more important for so many people around the world as the day to remember his message of Peace and Love and to do what each of us can to work on healing this planet we cherish.

Let's: Think Peace, Act Peace, and Spread Peace. John worked for it all his life.
He said, "there's no problem, only solutions." Remember, we are all together.
We can do it, we must. I love you!

Yoko Ono Lennon


*Postscript:
Here's what I wrote about my spooky-weird connection to that fateful day, in 2005.

We All Shine On

Have you read this Dick Cavett column? He writes about John Winston Lennon, who would be Sixty-Seven today. Why do I remember his birthday every year? That's just weird. Oh, that's right. He rescued me from a life of depressing banality

I was reminded of John recently because we saw some of "Give Peace A Song" on PBS. Before then, I had no idea that Tommy Smothers participated in the recording of Give Peace A Chance.

It all feels quite distant now. That belief that we had the power to change things. We did, to some degree. Now it's as though nobody has the will to fight for their (remaining) rights. Too busy accumulating and amassing. Besides, if it doesn't impact their day-to-day life directly, why should they care?

beautiful boy*

*check out the song lyrics*


my firstborn arrived last night

it felt like a holiday today

to me especially


an amazing man, my baby boy

his two sisters... so proud

he is big brother


(not like george orwell, although

orwell's birthday was today)


our cozy shack

now even cozier and

complete

longest day of the year

the summer solstice... check out the stonehenge party

every day gets shorter now

i was reading about the druids

then thinking about religion

all religion

and what i think is...

it sure does make a lot of folks act strangely

after a lifetime of pondering it

i have to say that to me

it seems to really do awful things to people

sometimes

to quote john lennon

"i just believe in me...and that reality"