Wordless Wednesday

The actual cozy shack... Our home in Mendocino/2004. Feels like a lifetime since then!

Halcyon Days

November of 1979... Taken at SFO on our way to see the Grateful Dead at The Golden Hall in San Diego.

As if that weren't thrilling enough to a bunch of goofy Deadheads... Several members of the band came walking on to the very same flight, including Jerry Garcia himself. I still smile, imagining what our amazed faces must have looked like to them.

We tried so hard to remain cool, but am sure we didn't look cool! When Bill Kreutzman walked by us, he held out his arms and proclaimed sarcastically: "Heeeere we are!!"

The Makers

Last night, we recorded "The Makers" on PBS. It looks like it will be quite good. I peeked at some of it as it recorded, and the few fragments I caught were mesmerizing. I was coming of age when the Women's Movement hit its stride and changed the set patterns of thousands of years of cultural norms. This series brings it all back, and holy shit! What an era that was! Easy to have grown complacent/jaded about things now, 40 some years after those incredible times... But being reminded of the limitations and expectations that my mother was expected to be satisfied with was a powerful thing! So. Damn. Marginalized.

It made me thankful that there are many more choices and chances for my daughters, since the freaky fifties, when my mom was a wife and mother. And to some degree, more choices than I had as a wife and mom in the eighties. To this day, I remember a conversation with my own mother about my future role in life. I was about 10, and was imagining what I might "be" some day. She told me that one day, a man would fall madly in love with me, sweep me off my feet, and that everything would fall into place perfectly when that fine day arrived. I recall feeling sort of let down about that singular scenario, even though it sounded appealing in a fairy tale sort of way. To a 10 year old!

Really looking forward to watching this series in its entirety.

Wordless Wednesday

(My youngest... about five years back.)

In Her Eyes I See The Sea...

Lotta Crabtree

Let's see. The dead ex-boyfriend list keeps growing. I'm not joking! That is a post-in-progress. Meanwhile, the garden here is happening. This pleases me greatly because I've done all the work. At first, I whined that we needed a rototiller to prepare the patch. One day, I looked down into the neighboring yard, and there was my ninety-something year old neighbor, prepping his garden bed entirely by hand. A shovel and a hoe and an old guy. This snapped me into action, and I went on out there and did the same thing. It felt mighty fine to just do it.

Music is also happening. Next week I cruise south to Santa Cruz to see my dear sister-friend. We are going to the Shoreline show together. Back in the so-called day, we saw lots of music. So, am revisiting another portal from my past. This is the same friend whose camp I'll be in at Burning Man. Seeing and hearing what's left of the boys will be fun at this point in time. And sad too. But really... he's been gone nearly 14 years now. I'm glad to hear anything that is related musically to that thing I loved so much. I surely did.

After playtime, I'll hurry homeward. Youngest daughter has prom to attend that weekend. School's almost done. Again. Then she's a senior. My baby. Shit! No more kids to raise-up. Then what? Burning Man-among other things. Much to be done beforehand, and 3 months (or so) will fly by.

Her Eyes Are A Blue Million Miles (Live Version) - Captain Beefheart And The Magic Band

Tend My Garden

Lou Beach

Tend My Garden - The James Gang

Off To Babylon By The Bay

Long story. Adios to Jon J. Lehr. Here's an oldie that reminds me of him forever. After a while, crocodiles.

Babylon - Jo Jo Gunne

The Damage Done

Today marks 13 years since our pal Tim died. He's gotten plenty of press here-with good reason. Here is a picture of his name, engraved in the Circle Of Friends in Golden Gate Park.

The Needle and the Damage Done [Live] - Neil Young

Something Completely Different

...and about as far from Zappa's songs as you can get. Below is today's friendly song worm. (Curse you, Safeway!) A totally cornball tune that takes me right back to being a kid. It came out the year my mom took us back to the city, after five years in Wisconsin. It reminds me of 7th grade dances, and a boy named Bruce Buxton. We weren't cool kids, but we did own Nehru jackets, and that was our connection. I don't think we ever danced to this particular song, but I will never forget what we did slow dance to. That would be "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother." One of the most awkward, painfully long slow dances in all my life. (Not that I have spent that much time slow dancing.) Besides, does anyone recall the way in which youngsters back then slow danced? You hugged real tight and swayed back and forth in one spot. Or at least that's the way I remember it. Which seemed pretty damned erotic at the time, but pales in comparison to some of today's dances.

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - Edison Lighthouse

My Old School

Galileo High School Courtyard, Bay and Van Ness, San Francisco

Ever think about your high school? I probably would not, were it not for the fact that I pass it on my way into and out of the city. My high school experience was different than some. Extremely urban and monstrous. O.J. Simpson's alma mater. Neat. We had crazy security guard dudes that walked around, yelling at us to get to class. The meanest one was named Mr. Strong. Of course.

My Old School - Steely Dan

Hold On

Via BoingBoing from Yoko

Be Thankful

More shameless promotion of my children. Sorry. That is my son at the ripe young age of two weeks. At home, in Aptos California~April 1982. Yes, that's a tiny batik shirt he is wearing. Not tie dye! Batik. Remember?

My son and his girlfriend are joining us for Thanksgiving dinner. This thrills my household, because we've missed the lad. Although he is just three hours away, he is kept busy with work and his band and life. Much like his sister, my older daughter. It's funny. I want them to be independent and capable, and they are. But I miss them both terribly at times. Yet another perplexing paradox to ponder.

I'm definitely thankful for what I got.

The accompanying tune is another fun flashback to my youth.

Pata Pata

My mother introduced me to her music at least forty years ago. Lucky me, I know. Other kids got Burl Ives and Mitch Miller.

Fare thee well, Mama Afrika

I've Gained Some Recognition But I've Lost My Appetite

(10-24) 16:44 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- Keyboardist Merl Saunders, the gentle lion of the San Francisco music scene best known as co-captain of guitarist Jerry Garcia's solo excursions outside the Grateful Dead, died Friday at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center, after fighting infections.

The 74-year-old musician suffered a debilitating stroke six-and-a-half years ago and, although he lost the ability to speak, he made numerous sentimental guest appearances at shows over those years playing with one hand.

"I never met anybody so happy who had a stroke," said Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart. "In the end, the only thing that lit him up was the music. Sometimes he'd cry, but I've never seen anybody so happy in the realm of music."

The native San Franciscan attended Polytechnic High School with singer Johnny Mathis.

After serving in the Army from 1953 to 1957, he played jazz organ on the same circuit as Jimmy Smith and Brother Jack McDuff. He worked as musical director of the Billy Williams Revue and served in a similar capacity in Oscar Brown Jr.'s off-Broadway show, "Big Time Buck White." He backed up Dinah Washington and jammed with Miles Davis. Mr. Saunders, who was rarely seen in public without his trademark aviator shades and black leather fisherman's cap, started playing with Garcia in 1971 at a small Fillmore Street nightclub called the Matrix, where the Grateful Dead guitarist liked to hold informal jam sessions on Dead nights off. Within months, the loose-knit band was playing to packed houses at small local clubs like the Keystone Korner in North Beach every weekend the Dead wasn't working. Members sometimes included former Creedence Clearwater rhythm guitarist Tom Fogerty and former Journey rhythm guitarist George Tickner.

The Saunders-Garcia Band, as the group came to be called, backed Mr. Saunders on his 1971 solo album, "Heavy Turbulence," and recorded two albums for Berkeley's Fantasy Records.

"Merl was an ensemble guy, a groupist," said Hart, who played with Mr. Saunders in his early '80s solo group, High Noon. "He brought those sensibilities to the Garcia band. He let Jerry have his flights of fancy."

Mr. Saunders told The Chronicle in 1972 that playing with Garcia offered them both an opportunity to experiment and explore different forms of music. "We do it just for fun," he said.

With the addition of saxophonist Martin Fierro in 1974, the group transformed into the Legion of Mary and disbanded the following year. Mr. Saunders also played in Reconstruction with Garcia from 1979 to 1980. Garcia appeared on the 1990 Mr. solo album and video, "Blues In the Rainforest," a surprise hit on the New Age music charts.

After Garcia fell into a diabetic coma in 1986 and lost some of his basic motor skills, Mr. Saunders spent hours daily with the stricken guitarist running scales, working him out on jazz standards such as "My Funny Valentine."

Mr. Saunders' music appeared on such soundtracks as "Fritz the Cat" and "Steelyard Blues." He worked on the TV series "Nash Bridges" and, as musical director of the 1985 TV series, "The New Twilight Zone," inveigled the Grateful Dead into a new recording of the classic theme song.

He recorded numerous albums, toured constantly and earned a welcome spot in the post-Dead jam band scene. Mr. Saunders headlined the Haight Street Music Fair for 24 consecutive years.

After his stroke, Mr. Saunders' musician son, Tony Saunders, completed his final solo album, "Still Groovin'." The album featured duets with Bonnie Raitt and Mavis Staples. Huey Lewis stepped up with a lead vocal after Mr. Saunders was disabled.

In his first public appearance following the stroke, Mr. Saunders attended the September 2004 CD release party at the Great American Music Hall, and played a handful of notes on the keyboard.

Mr. Saunders cheated death twice before. On Sept. 11, 2001, he was booked to return to San Francisco on United Flight 93 out of Newark, but decided to take an earlier flight so he could get home in time to watch the 49ers on Monday Night Football. In 2002, he underwent surgery for cancer, only weeks before his stroke.

He is survived by his longtime companion, Deborah Hall; his sons, Tony of Martinez and Merl Saunders Jr. of Novato; daughter Susan Mora of Oakland; six grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.

A memorial service will be held at 11 a.m. Wednesday at First AME Zion Church, 2159 Golden Gate Ave.

Joel Selvin

Three

I wonder what sort of a day three year old me was having. An odd bird. I can tell you that this pose was likely not elicited by my parents. Looks to be taken in our 'backyard' on Clay Street. (Clay and Fillmore, aka Pacific Heights)

Still Life

Dearest Aiko Jim paid us a visit last weekend. We cooked and laughed, drank and danced, and walked about town. Watched a couple of movies, including 'There Will Be Blood'. (Excellent!)

We even found time to make fools of ourselves. Just a little. What the hell. We're allowed to be fools together, because we go back thirty years. Back in the days of wine and doses.

Things are different now. Our lives in no way resemble the wild days of being twenty-somethings. Wait-maybe a few things are the same. Luckily.This friendship is the rarest sort. It evolves. There have been emotional speed bumps, but we always end up buddies. Forever.

I changed my accompanying song yet again. This time it got mysteriously nixed by imeem. Which is alright, because I found our signature song from the night of foolish behavior. Let's just say that our hardwood floors are most excellent for sock dancing.

July 19th, 1987

Baby M and I were at this show together twenty-one summers ago. My pal Gem had passes for us, so we went in style. Comfort is good-- especially with a nine month old in tow. My buddy Aiko Tim was there as well.

Later on, we relaxed at best pal Gem's in Eugene. Miss M enjoys her sink bath, whilst our (sweet departed) Tim assists me. The goofy way he is looking at me makes me grin through tears. We were never romantically intertwined, but I loved him more dearly than I can say. Life has since pushed on, as it tends to do. As for that baby girl in the sink, she's 21.5 now, and living quite contentedly in the city of my birth.


There were days between....

Smiling Phases

I've been thinking of my baby brother a lot this week. He turned 48 last Saturday. Wow. I sent him my fond wishes, and he had a fine dinner at my dad's place in San Francisco. Bro also lives and works in the city. That's where this picture was taken-at our flat in North Beach, where we did much of our coming of age. Taken in December 1974. Dig that modern art! And my cool shag cut! Yeah,I know... my eyes look 'funny'.

Take Me To The River

Trestle across the Fox River in Appleton, Wisconsin.

I refer to my birthplace/hometown often here. And why shouldn't I? I am proud of my San Francisco/NorCal roots. In the previous post, Mrs. G. inquired about my "Wisconsin grandma" because she apparently has one as well. It's true that some of my lineage is undeniably Midwestern, and I did spend about five years in Appleton as a young one. My grandmother was born and raised in Duluth, Minnesota, and she worked and raised my mom and her siblings in Appleton. Her husband, my grandfather was born in Norway, Michigan. He met and married my grandmother in Wisconsin. Much of my mother's family still lives there.

I haven't been in Appleton since 1979, when a friend and I passed through
and visited my family. We were making our way back home to California, after seeing six Dead shows back east. I still think about the place though. We lived above the Fox River, and that train trestle is the very same one we once walked along. Forty years back.

Same As The Old Boss

What's new? Still moving in. I must be older, because it's taking forever. I really will take some pictures here one of these days. Just haven't been inspired much lately. Go figure. We begin the task of painting the kitchen this weekend, among other tasks. The house is really something. I still wake up amazed that we are here, despite the work ahead.

I am noticing racism more and more. It's everywhere. Carefully disguised to blatant. Luckily, I feel all warm and happy inside when I imagine these folks on election and then inauguration day. Deal with it, you ignorant fools. A new world is fast approaching, and your time is UP! The same with the religious fanatic homophobes. Go crawl back in your caves, cretins. If people want to marry, let them. I for one am avoiding that particular institution these days, but if others choose to tie the knot, so be it. Hey, we've made it for over nine years without a wedding-why jinx it?! Besides, as a recovering catholic girl, I rather like living in sin. (mmmmmmmmmm...sin)

School's out in less than two weeks. It's been rocky, but we made it through the sophomore year. Two more years and my youngest child goes out into the world. I sure hope it improves between now and then. I feel sad for all the young people just starting their lives in this recession-bound economy. Not fair in the least. And nothing like the world I went out into in 1974. We thought Nixon and Vietnam were bad---that was nothing compared to now. I never thought I'd be saying that.