Diamond Encrusted SkullN.Y.T. article on Damien Hirst's latest creation.
I'm not a diamond-kind-of-gal. The only one I've ever owned was from my second husband. Ironically, it fell out of it's setting one day, when our union was in it's downward spiral to the hellish depths. (Never to be found.) I wear my maternal great-grandmother's garnet engagement ring on my left hand. It's well-over a hundred years old. I do not wear a wedding ring.
Mr. Cozy and I have lived in non-wedded bliss for about eight years now. He's never married anyone. I tried it twice, and failed miserably. We have no intention of procreating, and we're not religious in any way, so it's really nice just like this. Maybe if we have a big pile of money sitting around some day, we will throw a gargantuan party and get married. Without the diamonds.
What are your thoughts on marriage?
8 comments:
oh, my feelings on marriage are many and mixed. I've been legally married once for 11 years, gay wedding once for 6 years (thought she was THE one) and married at SF City Hall in 2003 to my current 'wife' though the state invalidated that piece o' paper. We've been together 7 years, and she is most certainly THE one. It's a relief to know that I am capable of a long lasting relationship.
I'm an insecure pup, so marriage is a psychological safety net for me. It's a legal contract between two people: and you either see the need for that legal tie or not, mostly depending on your life situation and where you are in terms of kids, age, material goods. I love the idea that two people can be together for life and not get married-more power to yas! You are obviously married in your hearts.
ok i'm back cuz i've had a coupla beers and i have to say that if eddie vedder asked me to marry him i would but being that he's taken i seriously doubt that is going to happen...did you know that eddie's first wife cheated on him? wtf? go figure?...
love u annie...and your blog...
and thanks for the bowie...
ok now it's tony time...adios...
~ n
xoxoxo
For some reason, I cant log on. You know who it is any whoose.
- Mr. Vedder stays at the Pinkish often in Hawaii. A very good guy. Totally cool, and never demanding. Goes by the alias "Brick Mason".
As far as marriage goes, my stats will screw the curve here for sure. Me and the Lady C have been together for 35 years. I met her at 13. We have been married for....shit.... a long ass time. Would it make a difference if we were not under some institution of marriage? I doubt it. I believe shes the one, and versa-visa. Hellish depths and fantastic highs aside, its the bond of US that creates the stability, not the ring, the mass, the paper. Its Me - N - Her.
FWIW - My Mom met my Dad 1 time as a stewardess for United, on the beach at Waikiki, Dad was going to Korea, they exchanged address, and after writing each other for 2 years, he asked her to marry him.
50 years together, next October.
Maybe its in my Genes?
.....Jeans?
Aloha, Annie!
I did the whole marriage thing backwards. I didn’t get married until I was 46, which is right around the time most people my age were having their mid-life crisis and getting divorced.
I had a few “live-together” relationships, but I never, ever thought I would get married. Just before I met Mr. Blogzie I was convinced that I would be alone the rest of my life and I was okay with that.
We got married because we wanted to and it was also a matter of necessity, as we needed to begin the immigration process to make him a legal resident. We were married in October 2001 at the Santa Barbara County Clerks office. It cost a grand total of $115.00. We both had on jeans and t-shirts. A woman from the passport line offered to be our witness. We didn’t have rings, so they left that part out. We got plain gold bands at Costco on our first anniversary. I’m not big on jewelry, obviously.
I think marriage means different thing to different people depending on where you are in your life. Personally, I’m glad I waited until I was a fully formed adult.
So far it’s working for me.
x0x0x0
I'm divorced, but if someone wanted to gift me with the diamond encrusted skull, I would accept it.
oooh, I just thought of half a dozen bitterly funny things to say about that skull - but I really do care about my soon-to-be-ex husband, so I'll save it for when I'm a granny doing the stand-up circuit.
The first time, I got married (with the honesty of hindsight) because I wanted to be married before age 30. Got married Dec. 15 1990 to a psycho former boyfriend after a six-week deluded courtship and was out with no bones broken by April 24, 1991 a couple weeks before my 30th birthday.
The second time, I married the father of my children because he was very insecure and felt that making it "official" would slake his thirst for full ownership. I already felt married, because I loved him and because all along there had been unmistakeable signs that we were brought together to have these particular children, and it was enough for me. Of course, it didn't serve the expected purpose, because it never does. He found a gazillion other things to feel insecure about, I've now got my name on his enormous debts, he can't be convinced to save or get insurance, and we've been separated for two years, most awkwardly under the same roof.
There's a book called Hold On To Your Kids that has an excellent description of how humans attach to each other, in other words, what love means. I think two people in a partnership have to have the same meaning for it to work. So, for me, if I were to join forces with anyone (although I have no intention of doing so) it would be someone to whom financial security and practical help mean the world, not possessiveness or jealousy. That's what I can give, that's what I want. My husband needs someone who will admire him and devote her every thought to him - that's what he is able to give and receive.
I've gone on a bit. yikes!
i'm 50 and never have gotten married.
my son's father and i were (see above) obviously meant to have that son, but we weren't meant to grow old together.
i always *think* i'm gonna get married some day, but the older i get, the less likely it seems. and the less it matters, truthfully.
a couple years before my dad died, i remember saying to him, hey dad, looks like i'm not going to cost you any money for a wedding ceremony, so maybe you could just give a me a couple grand instead?"
i was joking, but in a serious way....he did not find this particularly funny.
after his death, though, all the other siblings unanimously voted to let me have his car (a fairly new Honda CRV), and so i suppose that's how that all worked itself out.
ok, 'nuf said!
:)
I try not to think about things that scare the shit outta me.
d.
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