thanks for the memory

the fairmont hotel, atop nob hill.



the lobby of the fairmont.




another shot of the lobby.




the first guy in this line is someone i used to know.(not the chef, the guy in the white shirt.)

"it" happened about a year before i re-connected with my sweetheart.
in my early days on the internet, i frequented a grateful dead chat room, on aol. jerry's death was still pretty fresh, and the connection there was occasionally therapeutic. it was my first big lesson in what is real vs. what is surreal, here on the information highway.

i "met" a few interesting people there. i began to communicate with a man from the midwest. he had been a deadhead since the 70's, like me, and was a stockbroker. it was fun getting to "know" him. after almost a decade of general unhappiness, i had put husband #2 on a train out of town a few months before, so i admit that this strange new forum was intriguing.

before long, my new friend told me that he would be traveling to san francisco, on business. it just so happened that a great show was scheduled in berkeley, right around the time he planned to be on this coast. we decided to meet at this very show. he booked a room at the fairmont hotel. attempting to be proper, i insisted that he get two twin beds. (is that hysterical, or what?!)

as the big meeting day approached, it felt almost-creepy. knowing that i would soon meet this person, i wondered whether the fantasy would mesh with the reality. it was a completely new experience, in every way.

i barely remember the car ride to berkeley. i wondered how i could have ever consented to such a thing as this. what a mad woman i was, and a harlot besides!
i finally found a place to park, and scurried to the theatre. i saw him, pacing and looking anxious. he looked like his photo, his smile was lovely. we hugged. he was shaking. the show was about to start, so we went inside and found our seats. on the way, i saw a few old friends, from many years of mutual music appreciation. it was interesting, introducing my new friend to them. let's just say they weren't sure quite what to think! the show was wonderful, and the energy between us was formidable. after it was over, he followed me across the bridge to san francisco, in his rental car. the fairmont is an unbelievable place, and as a resident, i had never stayed there. so this somewhat sordid affair afforded me that luxury. we put on music(live van morrison), and smoked a little. you can guess the rest. ("love is a drug.") the twin beds became the running joke of the weekend.

what a rush it was, being with him. and even though it all dissolved as suddenly as it began, i will never regret the time we shared. he was extremely well-mannered, and sweet-as-pie. and he made me smile, and i needed that. we had fabulous meals, and walked all over the city. i took him to all the cool spots, including to meet some of my closest friends, in marin. a few days after our rendezvous in the city, we were lucky enough to get tickets to see bob dylan, joni mitchell, and van morrison, in san jose. i still can't believe that line-up. we had another fantastic musical experience, followed by a lovely night. then he went back to his state-of-residence. i knew that was probably the last time i'd see the stockbroker.

we continued to communicate, but things faded. and that was alright, because the memory was enough. that experience woke me up, from the haze of my ill-fated marriage and eventual split. i remembered how good it felt to feel good. wow.

then tonight, while roaming the web, and music sites, i found that the stockbroker is now in a band back there, for fun. there were a few pictures of him with his band.it made me smile, remembering the exciting experience we shared. i will always be grateful for that experience, but also so glad that it wasn't built to last.
... because that ending led me back to my long-lost love.

we celebrate seven years together in may. thanks, stockbroker!